Life / Vacation / Work · July 2, 2014 1

I’m So Tired

I’m going to start off this blog by ignoring the fact that I haven’t posted in forever. I have been so tired lately and not interested in doing any of the things I used to like doing. I know that usually means a person is depressed. Maybe I am, but I don’t really feel like I’m depressed. I just feel like I work all the time and then when I come home I just want to lay on the couch and not move. I have been watching a lot of TV lately (started the series Suburgatory) and playing some Wii U games. My parents came out for a visit at the end of May and I had fun showing them around the province that I live in. Next week I get to take my first trip to BC and meet my boyfriend’s family and check out all the places that he used to hang out at. This will be my last vacation until after Christmas and that makes me extremely sad.

Some of the things that inhibit me from posting is knowing that I have to return comments that are left on my blog. I think I may just start writing whenever I feel like and not worry about anything else until it becomes a habit. I won’t be upset if that means people stop commenting on my website. And I’m not saying that I will never comment on yours. I just might end up doing the replies at the end of the month or something.

I’ve started working two or three days a week at the other store we operate in Edmonton which I have been enjoying because I get to reorganize all day. But it takes me over an hour to get there and back. I really don’t mind the long drive to work, but I hate the long drive home. I usually work until 6 which means I don’t get home until 7 or 7:30 and then I have to find something to eat which usually ends up being unhealthy because I want something quick.

I really feel like I have no free time. But really, I have just been wasting it with electronics. I don’t know how I got this way. I don’t know what I should be doing instead of using electronics to make myself feel like I have more free time. On my days off, all I ever do are errands and chores. I’ve gotten sick of making meals. I used to make a new meal every week. Now I don’t even know what to make sure supper most nights. I’m just tired of food. All I want is things that are bad for me (pizza, take-out, doughnuts, cake, etc.). Anyone have any good recipes that are fast and healthy to get me out of this rut?

I was actually getting so stressed up with life that I was thinking about quitting my job so I could take the summer off to relax. It sounds so good, but I really wonder how long I would last before I got bored. Ideally, I wish I could work only 4 days a week. I think that extra day off would really make a difference. In order to do that with my current job I could have to work 10 hours a day. No thanks. I kind of wish I wasn’t on salary any more. I would love to just work 4 eight hour shifts. However, I don’t think I would make enough money at that many hours.

Another thing I used to do all the time was online surveys. Do you know how many surveys are sitting unread in my email account right now? 500…Why do I just not care about anything any more?

One thing I have been thinking about lately is getting pregnant and getting on with my life. In my head I somehow think that would make everything easier. How does that even make sense?! I’ve wanted to be a mom ever since I can remember. But it’s probably a better idea to wait until I’m married and know I can afford it. And what makes me think being a mom would be less stressful then what I’m doing right now? I see all these people on Facebook with kids and think to myself, if they can do it I will be fine. I was born to have children. What am I waiting for? I’m getting awfully close to 30. But then I see families shopping in my store and the parents are clearly older than I am. So why do I need to be in a rush? And THEN I say that I need to be in a rush because my mom had troubles getting pregnant so chances are that I will too. Sometimes I wonder if I can even get pregnant because I’ve never had a scare in my life. Is that normal? Don’t people get pregnant all the time when they don’t mean to? Why hasn’t this happened to me? Just because I’m careful?

Ok, well that was a random post. I would say you can expect more randomness in the future if things going according to plan.