So far 2014 hasn’t been so great. By the end of last week I just wanted to escape everything. I was contemplating quitting my job because I was so stressed out. After a three day weekend I’m feeling a little better, but I’m not looking forward to my work schedule this month. It might just possibly break me. I have been scheduled for shifts that I have specifically told my manager that I do not want to work and there are also lots of days where I have to work alone for 3 or 4 hours at a time. I specifically chose to work for a company like this because I didn’t want to ever have to work alone. I understand why the schedule is terrible; we are short staffed. But it’s the managers job to make sure we have the staff that we need, and if we don’t they shouldn’t be going away on vacations so often. We’ll see how the next few months go and maybe I’ll start thinking about making a decision. I have not been as stressed out about work since moving to Alberta over two years ago. It’s really wearing me out dealing with some of these people and am getting very close to my breaking point.

People have been telling me to quit since I moved here because of the treatment I have been given. The problem is this; I don’t like change and I don’t want to have to look for a new job. I also hate abandoning people. If only I knew what I wanted to do for work or what would be the best type of job for the skills I have, it wouldn’t be so bad. But I’m just clueless right now. I think what I would like is to work for a company that has regular hours (9-5) and gets all holidays off. I wouldn’t mind working in an office sitting at a desk every day. I don’t mind mundane tasks. I’m very organized and like to have things on time (or sooner if possible). I take deadlines very seriously.

My favorite things to do at my current and past jobs have been pricing stock. Making sure my work area is stocked up so my co-workers have the resources they need. I like counting and making sure inventory is at the numbers they are supposed to be at. I like sorting papers and making sure they are in the right places so they are easy to find when they are needed. I love office supplies and often say that is why I went into teaching. When I’m in Staples (office supply store) I always wish I had a use for everything in their store. I would love to have an office of my own.

I think another thing that may be affecting my mood lately is the weather. I’m so sick of winter right now. We’ve had snow on the ground since November and it’s so cold out that I really don’t want to be there. I miss being able to walk to work and back. The sidewalks are just too icy right now. It warmed up in the beginning of January for a few days and I was so happy. But now that it’s cold again I just want to stay home and do nothing.

This has been a busy holiday season in retail this year. It has been mostly pleasant. Not too many cranky customers this year compared to past years. But you know what sucks about working retail? You don’t get time off for the holidays. I wish I had a job where I had at least a week off for Christmas. The only days I have off in a row are Christmas and Boxing Day. It sucks a lot. I keep finding myself looking forward to Christmas because of vacation, but then I remember that I don’t have a vacation this year. This must be the first year where I didn’t have any Christmas vacation. I’m praying that nothing crazy happens between now and Christmas at work, especially because my manager is leaving me in charge while he goes away for two or three weeks. I don’t think a manager should be allowed to be gone for more than two weeks at a time, but that’s just me.

This Christmas also marks one year since I’ve been home to see my family which is sad too. I have no idea when I am going to get to see them next. That is making Christmas a little more sad this year. But on the bright side, I get to spend it with my boyfriend making our own traditions. Which really means, I’m teaching him my traditions and he’s adopting them. This weekend we plan on going to Candy Cane Lane to look at the Christmas lights. This is a street where most of the houses are lit up. It’s pretty cool. And I also found a news article this morning about this family who have decorated their acreage with Christmas lights and my boyfriend said he will take me there! It looks amazing so I’m really looking forward to that.

I feel so disorganized this Christmas. I sent out my cards late this year so a few of my family members won’t be receiving theirs until after Christmas. And I didn’t even as my blogging friends to exchange cards. I find that when my work life is chaotic, so is my personal life. I’ve been really trying to find some sort of balance or routine but have been failing for months. I really hope to get myself back on track come January. I wrote up a schedule for myself for when I’m home so I can keep on track of my chores and my exercise. I don’t know if it’s going to work though. I even wrote in blogging time, which I know I keep saying I’m going to get better at but then don’t. I think I’ve figured out the problem though.

In the past when I blogged a lot, it was when I was in school. I used to write about what I was learning and how stressed out I was about exams, etc. But with work, I don’t like writing about it. I mean, I wouldn’t mind writing about work. But at the same time, I’m scared that I would get in trouble if I did. Ever since I began teaching I have been hyper aware about how you are not to talk about things that happen at work, with the public. And even though I’m not teaching anymore, I still try to limit what I say in the public sphere because you never know who’s reading and how they are going to interpret what you say. I’m not really good at censoring myself these days and I know my blog has hurt the feelings of some people in the past. But I am going to try REALLY hard to start writing here more often, even if I don’t really have anything to say. I will apologize in advance for any boring posts that may be coming your way in the new year.