In October I went for my first pap test since moving to Alberta (it had been about three years since the last one). During the test the doctor found a cyst about 1.5 – 2 cms long. She said it looked benign (which means not cancerous) but that she had never seen one like that before so she referred me to another doctor. I went to the specialist about a month later and he agreed that it looked benign but it also wasn’t normal. He said it had a blueish color to it which is strange. He says there are about three types of cyst’s that he thinks it could be, but his guess is that it’s most likely a “Gartner’s Duct Cyst“. I have been told to get a pelvic ultrasound which is scheduled for later today. Hopefully the ultrasound will shed some light on what is going on and if it’s something I should be worried about or not. There is some prep that needs to be done for this test. It is the first time I’ve ever had to prep for a test and I’m a bit nervous about that. I have to drink 4 cups (about 1 liter) of water. It has to be finished one hour before the test and I’m not allowed to use the washroom until after the test. I really hope I will be able to control my bladder haha.
I was not able to hold that much liquid and had to run home and hope I didn’t explode. I had to reschedule the appointment for next Tuesday. I hope I can do it next time! I feel like such a failure.
This has been a busy holiday season in retail this year. It has been mostly pleasant. Not too many cranky customers this year compared to past years. But you know what sucks about working retail? You don’t get time off for the holidays. I wish I had a job where I had at least a week off for Christmas. The only days I have off in a row are Christmas and Boxing Day. It sucks a lot. I keep finding myself looking forward to Christmas because of vacation, but then I remember that I don’t have a vacation this year. This must be the first year where I didn’t have any Christmas vacation. I’m praying that nothing crazy happens between now and Christmas at work, especially because my manager is leaving me in charge while he goes away for two or three weeks. I don’t think a manager should be allowed to be gone for more than two weeks at a time, but that’s just me.
This Christmas also marks one year since I’ve been home to see my family which is sad too. I have no idea when I am going to get to see them next. That is making Christmas a little more sad this year. But on the bright side, I get to spend it with my boyfriend making our own traditions. Which really means, I’m teaching him my traditions and he’s adopting them. This weekend we plan on going to Candy Cane Lane to look at the Christmas lights. This is a street where most of the houses are lit up. It’s pretty cool. And I also found a news article this morning about this family who have decorated their acreage with Christmas lights and my boyfriend said he will take me there! It looks amazing so I’m really looking forward to that.
I feel so disorganized this Christmas. I sent out my cards late this year so a few of my family members won’t be receiving theirs until after Christmas. And I didn’t even as my blogging friends to exchange cards. I find that when my work life is chaotic, so is my personal life. I’ve been really trying to find some sort of balance or routine but have been failing for months. I really hope to get myself back on track come January. I wrote up a schedule for myself for when I’m home so I can keep on track of my chores and my exercise. I don’t know if it’s going to work though. I even wrote in blogging time, which I know I keep saying I’m going to get better at but then don’t. I think I’ve figured out the problem though.
In the past when I blogged a lot, it was when I was in school. I used to write about what I was learning and how stressed out I was about exams, etc. But with work, I don’t like writing about it. I mean, I wouldn’t mind writing about work. But at the same time, I’m scared that I would get in trouble if I did. Ever since I began teaching I have been hyper aware about how you are not to talk about things that happen at work, with the public. And even though I’m not teaching anymore, I still try to limit what I say in the public sphere because you never know who’s reading and how they are going to interpret what you say. I’m not really good at censoring myself these days and I know my blog has hurt the feelings of some people in the past. But I am going to try REALLY hard to start writing here more often, even if I don’t really have anything to say. I will apologize in advance for any boring posts that may be coming your way in the new year.